Monday, August 23, 2010

Event Horizon (Ending) Part 2

In this empty everything, I cannot see my body. It doesn’t matter. I am here, but I don’t want to be. I have to get out of here. I have to get back to me. I don’t want this. How is it any better than bei- but my thought is cut off because light is coming.
                I am unable to tell from where, but this is unlike the room I had woken up because it doesn’t emanate from any point and even if it did there is nothing here for it to reflect off of so I wouldn’t been able to see it unless it hits my body and I am becoming increasing certain I don’t have one anymore. It’s as though the air itself is glowing. I want to give it a color, but I can’t. At any instant I can see it as being chemically luminescent , but as I try to consider a color I cannot remember what one I am seeing. Is it changing or am I a witness to something new?
                It is everywhere, all the way through me. I am certain now I am not occupying space, but am still aware of all of this. Something is pulled from my memory, Ralph Waldo Emerson. He had seen this when he said, “I become a transparent eyeball.” It’s true, I am an acute receiver and there is nowhere I cannot look. At the same time though, the is nothing for me to see but this light, this static, fluid, everything light.
                I’ve heard that your brain requires certain stimuli in order to continue functioning properly and in the absence of such stimuli you will project images, sounds and sensations to fill the gap and give your mind something to do. However, there is something about this environment that is stranger than sensation, it is more like awareness. I feel it, it feels me back. It’s like an AC electrical circuit, only faster. The light and myself are receiving each other and being received with each exchange occurring so rapidly (it is like trying to pinpoint the light’s color) it is impossible to tell which is happening at any moment and I can only conceive that they are simultaneous.
                I wonder if it is a conscious thing, an entity. It replies in the same moment without sound or alteration of form, but just a change in my perception.
                Yes it is.
                I am aware of the extent to which this light is aware of me, it‘s like making eye contact with your soul. We are separate from each other, but of the same stuff.
                Consider taking every possible number, down to the an infinite decimal placement between one and two, and finding the sum of these numbers. Slowly but surely it would reach to infinity. Now consider the sum of all numbers of the same sort between one and three-hundred. You would get the same result. ; two infinities, one containing the other. That was me to the light, the same, but not.
                These thoughts might have happened over either a span of second fragments or entire years. When you’ve emanated all of existence, there is always plenty of time.

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